Power Rankings: The Celebrity Couple Edition

Which twosome is currently holding the crown for most powerful couple in the world?

By: Michael Small | Illustrations: Spencer Pidgeon


There’s nothing we enjoy more than watching famous people in love. We rush to the theatre to imagine two stars hooking up, and buy magazines at the grocery store to see them on dates (celebrities – they’re just like us!). But which couples are currently stoking the fires of our imagination and pushing the pleasure buttons on our hearts? And which ones need to be put out to pasture? Here’s an updated look at the best (and worst) couples currently canoodling.


Kim and Kanye

A few years back when Kim and Kanye were following around Jay Z and Beyoncé like two eager puppies, they were clearly the betas in the foursome, feasting on Jay and Bey’s table scraps. Times change. Whether you love to hate or hate that you love them, it’s undeniable that the general public is putty in KimYe’s hands. The couple have proven to be omnipresent, dropping headline-generating tidbits whenever the public eye begins to wander – from Taylor Swift beefs to nude pics to emojis to sneakers. This slow drip of branded assets have turned Kardashian and West into a money- and attention-grabbing power house. Combined with Jay Z’s slow transformation into a crying Jordan meme (see below), Kim and Kanye have seized the crown.

Michelle and Barack Obama

Have we ever had a more likeable presidential couple? For eight years, the POTUS and FLOTUS have been front and centre for the world to watch, and they haven’t blinked. The list of pros is long: Barack’s genuinely funny sense of humour, Michelle’s initiatives for children’s health, his smooth jump shot, her jealousy-inducing arms and their likeable children, to name a few. It’s tough not to put them at the top of this list, but with the Obamas leaving the White House in a few months, their time as a constant in our lives might be coming to a close. Whether we see a return of the Clintons or the introduction of the Trumps, it’s safe to say we’ll miss the Obamas.

Simon Biles and Aly Raisman

OK, sure – they’re not really a couple. But did you see these two Olympians tumbling around Rio, winning Golds and having the time of their lives? Excuse us for doing a little shipping. The gymnastic duo genuinely seem to enjoy each other’s company, and we want to see them together than for just two weeks every four years. We’d take a lot more of these two buddies clowning around if it meant we didn’t have to see the next two couples.

Rihanna and Drake

Is this relationship real? Who the heck knows, but it sure is fun speculating. These two have been tantalizing fans with an are-they or aren’t-they a thing for years, but the idea of Drake and Rihanna making it Facebook official is worth any annoying ambiguity. After multiple albums of Drake complaining about women who don’t do right by him (except his mama, never forget his mama), it’d be fun to watch him paired with someone who can not only keep up, but outpace him. Rihanna might be one of the few people in the world who could.

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Beyoncé… and Jay Z

What a fall from grace. But let’s get this out of the way – it ain’t Beyoncés fault. If anything, our admiration for Queen B has grown over the years. Sadly, her star has far eclipsed her partner’s, who has become both culturally irrelevant, and slightly unlikeable. This year’s Lemonade only increased our hunger for Beyoncé to move onto greener pastures, after Jay’s alleged infidelities with ‘Becky with the good hair.’ In order for a power couple to reach their full potential, both partners need to be on their game. Jay hasn’t been for a while now. #freebeyoncé

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston

This couple is the worst, and couple might be too strong of a word. Swift and Hiddleston generate about as much heat as a Dilly bar. With rumours swirling that the two connected just for the publicity, and paparazzi photos showing a tepid relationship at best, the sooner this relationship gets turned into a scorned Swift song, the better. Loki doesn't deserve this.